


Guardian

by Jcapasso916



Category: Supernatural
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-13
Updated: 2016-02-19
Packaged: 2018-05-20 03:57:32
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 9
Words: 15,022
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5990914
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jcapasso916/pseuds/Jcapasso916
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Gabriel has completely had it with the Winchesters and their high and mighty attitude and he sees fit to educate them on a few things. Namely, just how much of a role he had taken in their lives and how many times he had tried to prevent the apocalypse that was now bearing down on them. </p><p>Set at the end of Changing Channels.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Gabriel was starting to panic as he watched the Winchesters and Castiel head out the door. “You’re just gonna…You’re gonna leave me here forever?” He would forever deny how high his voice got in his anxiety. There was little worse than being trapped, but being trapped and defenseless was probably his greatest fear. 

Dean turned when he got to the door though and said, “No. We’re not. Cause we don’t screw with people the way you do. And for the record? This isn’t about some prize fight between your brothers or some destiny that can’t be stopped. This is about you being too afraid to stand up to your family,” as he pulled the fire alarms causing the sprinklers to come on. 

That was the last straw for Gabriel. He’d had it with these assholes. “You stupid pretentious pricks!” he yelled at their backs. “After everything I did to try to stop this, every time you fucking ignored me and now I’m the bad guy because I’m not willing to uselessly sacrifice my life on your altar of idiocy!”

They turned and looked at him incredulously. “What the hell are you talking about?” Sam asked shocked. 

“’This obsession to save Dean only ends in blood and pain’? ‘Sometimes you just gotta let people go’? ‘You can’t save your brother’? ‘It’s gonna be the death of you’? Any of this ringing a bell?” Gabriel asked sarcastically. 

Sam just gaped at him for a moment. He had completely blocked out everything about their conversation at the end of the mystery spot incident thinking it was all part of some trick, but now…looking back he could see it. But Gabriel wasn’t done yet. “I put myself in your paths the first time on purpose. Do you really think I could have been caught by a couple green hunters if I hadn’t wanted to be? Hell I could have left town the second you showed up, but I just let you walk right in and tried talking to you. Do you know why?” he was still yelling. 

Dean crossed his arms, obviously barely listening to the archangel, but Sam and Castiel were paying attention. “I wanted to give you another option before selling your soul to a damn demon! That’s why! When I realized that you weren’t even going to hear me out, I even had a backup plan. I tuned myself into your prayers so that any prayer you sent up…to anyone…I would hear and could follow to find you, but you never even tried to pray! For someone who supposedly hates demons so much you sure were quick to go running to one to solve all your problems,” he sneered. 

Dean turned a little pink at that. “I didn’t know that angels or god or anything was real! I knew that demons were real,” Dean protested. 

“Would it have killed you to try? To try anything before running off to sell your soul? Would it have killed you to hear me out in that auditorium?”

“You were killing people!” Dean pointed out heatedly. 

“And do you know how many innocent lives I saved by doing so?” Gabriel said pointedly. 

Sam realized that all this yelling wasn’t going to get them anywhere so he jumped in. “Okay. I get it Gabriel. You’re pissed. But can we all sit down and talk about this like rational people…er…beings?”

“What’s the point? You two are doomed, thanks to your own actions. Why should I bother trying to explain myself now?” Gabriel asked annoyed. 

Sam gave the only answer he could think of that the archangel may listen to. “To get it off your chest and point out how stupid we’ve been so you can rub our noses in it?” he suggested. When he heard a sound of protest from Dean, he shot his brother a glare. Dean glared back at him, but thankfully shut up. 

“Fine!” Gabriel snapped. The holy fire had gone out by then and he disappeared. Sam looked confused, but decided to give it a day before praying to him and asking him to explain. Maybe he just wanted some time to cool off. 

Once he was gone the three of them headed back out to the car. Cas had been, no so uncharacteristically silent, thinking over his brother’s words, but Dean had enough of silence. “What the hell was that about Sam?”

“Do you want information or not?” Sam asked pointedly. “I, for one, want to know what all he’s done to us, and how long he’s been watching us. Did you not catch the whole thing about him putting himself in our path? He had to have been watching us to do that.”

“Oh. Right. So that crap about pointing out our stupidity and rubbing our noses in it?” Dean asked for clarification. 

“Can you think of a better way to get him to talk?” 

“I guess not,” Dean said grudgingly. 

“Didn’t think so. So whatever you do, don’t antagonize him. Let me handle it,” Sam asked hopefully. 

“Fine. I’ll try.”

 

They arrived back at their motel to see the trickster archangel lounged across their couch, leg flung lazily over the arm, popping skittles into his mouth. “Took you long enough.”

Sam gave him a tentative smile and Dean rolled his eyes. Cas had disappeared about halfway there, to continue his search for God. Sam sat down on his bed. “So you said something about saving people by killing people?”

“Mr. Morality was an accident. He wasn’t supposed to die. Be traumatized, sure. I mean it served him right after what he did to all those girls, but he didn’t deserve death. I was as surprised as anyone when he landed on the steps behind me that night. How was I supposed to know he would think the window a better escape than the open door?” Gabriel said with a shrug. 

“What do you mean what he did to what girls? And what exactly did you do to him?” Sam asked. 

“He would fail any pretty girl and then offer to pad her grade if she slept with him. They felt that they didn’t have a choice if they didn’t want to flunk out or lose their scholarships or whatever, but they made it clear that they didn’t want to. Some of them even killed themselves because they couldn’t handle it. I gave him a girl to seduce, and once he started getting into it, her face started rotting off. She wasn’t even blocking the door. He could easily have run out the door rather than take a header out of the window, but hey, karma and all that,” he said smugly. 

“And the researcher?” Sam asked curiously. 

“Him I meant to kill. He got off on torture. Humans, animals, it didn’t matter to him. If it could scream it was fair game. He would go for days until his ‘subject’ died. He never would have stopped if he’d lived. There wasn’t enough left of his soul to even make him human anymore,” Gabriel said with a cruel smirk. 

Sam blinked at him a few times. He still didn’t like the idea of killing people of course, but it seemed like Gabriel was actually trying to do good. That had to count for something. “So you were trying to tell us that then?”

“Of course I was, but you wouldn’t listen. Saw everything in black and white. I thought I taught you better than that,” he said with a grin, knowing that they would absolutely freak if he answered the question he suspected was coming. 

“What do you mean you taught us better than that?” Sam asked confused. 

Gabriel suddenly morphed into an old woman. “Life’s more than black and white sonny. It lives in shades of grey,” he said in a voice to match the body. Then he morphed into another old woman, and another, through a few dozen, some of them younger, even a couple men. 

“How many of our babysitters were you?” Sam asked shocked. 

“Most of them,” Gabriel freely admitted. “After the second time your idiot father left you two with a demon, not even bothering to check, I decided to take matters into my own hands.”

“I don’t…how long…” Sam sputtered.

“Since the day you were born,” he said looking at Sam. 

“Then why the hell didn’t you save our mother you ass,” Dean couldn’t keep quiet anymore. 

“Because I couldn’t,” Gabriel said with a glare. 

“You can’t possibly expect me to believe that you couldn’t handle one little demon,” Dean spat. 

“Of course I could have handled him. I could have fried his ass right there if it hadn’t been for the deal your mother made. Humans have free will. She made her deal freely, just like you did, and angels can’t interfere with the free will of humans.” 

“Bullshit. Angels have been yanking our chains forever,” Dean said angrily. 

“Not exactly. They have presented choices. Granted the choice other than the one they wanted wasn’t usually a good one, but you did have a choice. Any situation where you weren’t given a choice, the dirty work was done by demons. It’s a loophole. A small one, but a loophole all the same. Demon deals don’t have such loopholes though unfortunately,” Gabriel explained. 

“Then why not stop her from making the deal in the first place?” Sam asked. “Like you tried to stop Dean. Or did you try?” 

“I didn’t know I needed to. The union between the Campbells and the Winchesters was long fortold, but I wasn’t aware that they were even dating at that point. I didn’t know anything about it until they were married due to all the celebrating in heaven. Like you, however, she didn’t even think to pray for help before accepting the demon’s deal.”

“Would you have helped her?” Sam asked softly. 

“I would have gone to her. I don’t know what I would have done about the situation though, but I would have at least explained things if I didn’t help,” Gabriel said not quite apologetically. 

“Why wouldn’t you have helped?” Dean asked with narrowed eyes. 

“Think about it Deano. Your father was dead. That means that not only are you never born to bring all this about, but the last of the Winchesters is dead too, meaning that they have to start all over, creating new bloodlines, which will take millennia, before the apocalypse can get back on track.”

“You would let him just stay dead?” Sam asked incredulously. 

Gabriel raised an eyebrow at the hunter. “I said I didn’t know what I would do, but yes, that would be an option.” When they started bristling he added, “Look. Guys. I get it. But everyone dies sometime. Messing with the natural order has consequences. Look at the evidence. Your mother makes a deal to bring your father back causing the vessels to be born and her to die. Your father makes a deal to bring you back, Dean, and look how much trouble that caused you. You make a deal to bring Sam back and break the first seal making him go nuts and break the last. If your mother had just let your father die, he would have been happy in heaven, rather than rotting in hell. If he had let you die, Dean you would both be happy in heaven. If you had let Sam die, same thing, but instead look at what happened. Messing with the natural order is more trouble than it’s worth sometimes.”

Sam decided to drop the subject. “So you were watching over us our whole lives?” he was still trying to wrap his head around that part. 

“Sure thing kiddo. Didn’t you notice how you were never sick growing up? You didn’t think that was weird? You must know that it’s not normal to heal from injuries as fast as you two always have. And how many scrapes have you been in where you barely got out with your lives thanks to just the right turn of events at just the right moment? A knife being within reach, ropes loosening just enough, an extra burst of strength you didn’t realize you had, the monster hesitating just long enough for you to get a kill shot…I could go on.”

“I…but…why?” Sam asked. If it was all about preventing the apocalypse why would he help them so much? Why not just let them die? And worrying over their injuries, making sure they healed faster, and didn’t get sick…what did he get out of that?

“Sorry buckos. All done with the sharing and caring for today. So now that you know how utterly stupid you’ve been, I’ll be on my way,” Gabriel said disappearing with a smirk.


	2. Chapter 2

Once Gabriel was gone, Dean rounded on Sam. “Are you really buying that crap?” he asked accusingly. 

“The part about how there’s no way to stop this and it’s already a done deal? No. But the rest…I don’t know. It makes sense,” Sam admitted. 

“On what planet does any of this make sense?” Dean asked heatedly. 

“Well he had to have at least been watching us to know what all of our babysitters looked like. And he was right about how many times we’ve survived by the skin of our teeth thanks to impossible coincidences. And I always just figured we healed fast because we were tough, but what if it was more than that? And we were never sick. Kids get sick Dean,” Sam pointed out. 

“I was sick plenty of times,” Dean countered. “Mom used to make me tomato rice soup when I was sick.”

“Gabriel said he started watching after I was born. How many times were you sick after that?” 

“Hell I don’t know. I was four. You think I really kept track of that kind of thing?” Dean asked exasperatedly.

“And how many times did our babysitters try to convince us that the world was more than black and white?”

“They didn’t know what was out there. They had no idea what they were talking about,” Dean protested. 

“Or maybe they did, and were trying to teach us a lesson,” Sam said pointedly. 

Dean huffed and said, “Whatever. I’m going out.” He didn’t need to be here right now. All this was giving him a headache and if he admitted that Sam was right; that Gabriel had been looking out for them all along; then that would mean admitting that all of this was their fault and the archangel was right to leave them to it. He didn’t want to consider that. He needed to get drunk and either forget all about it or manage to wrap his head around it. Neither of which he could do sober. 

While Dean was out trying to forget, Sam was doing the opposite. He was going back over every interaction they’d ever had with a babysitter and trying to find something that was inherently Gabriel. The only thing he could think of was their prank wars. Now that he was an adult, he figured out that most babysitters, especially elderly ones, should have tried to discourage it or even been horribly annoyed by it, but their babysitters had ignored it and there was more than once when the intended effects of a prank were magnified beyond what they expected. Had that been Gabriel’s doing? 

He got on his computer and started looking up more information on the two deaths at the college in Ohio and found that Gabriel’s story apparently checked out there. Now that he was dead, the accusations against the professor were coming out of the woodwork. The mortality rate of the animals in the testing program had greatly decreased and the serial killer that had been plaguing the next town over hadn’t struck since the researcher died. That was one point in favor of Gabriel telling the truth at least. 

He thought back over the mystery spot encounter. He remembered Gabriel’s desperation as he tried to get him to understand. He remembered the way Gabriel softened when faced with his tears; the way someone who had cared for you and watched you grow up would have. He remembered Gabriel’s complete frustration when Sam refused to listen, but how he had given Dean back anyway. He remembered how Gabriel seemed almost proud when he praised Sam for being smart. 

Then he thought about their most recent encounter with tv land. He remembered again the pride with which Gabriel spoke when they caught him out so fast. He realized that the bullet that shot Dean had gone straight through his spine. He should have been dead, or at the very least paralyzed, but Gabriel had apparently protected him from that. The bowling ball to his nuts should have cause serious damage including breaking his pelvis, but Gabriel had prevented that too. Looking at it objectively, pain was the best way to make the initial point and after that it had just been embarrassing, but not painful. 

He tried to consider how he would feel in Gabriel’s position. Pitted in between your family and people you cared for, thinking that one of them was a lost cause, and he realized that in that situation he would just want to get it over with too. See who to mourn and find out what he could salvage out of the wreckage, rather than drag it out. It dawned on him that whatever else was going on, that Gabriel cared. That he cared about them and what happened to them. Maybe they could get him on their side. Convince him they had a chance and to help them. But first they would have to prove it. 

 

While Dean was trying to forget and Sam was remembering, Gabriel was pacing frustrated. How dare they? The stupid little insignificant humans trying to tell him what to do and make him the bad guy in all this. They were the ones who wouldn’t listen. They were the ones who broke the world, despite his best efforts and now he was wrong for wanting out? And then demanding answers. He should have known better. He knew better than most how good Sam was at getting what he wanted when he put his mind to it. He knew now that the hunter was just pandering to his ego with all that talk about telling them how stupid they were, but he hadn’t been able to resist and now look what happened. He knew that Sam wouldn’t let that last question rest. He knew that he had revealed too much and worried about the conclusions that the hunter would come to. The last thing he needed was for Sam fucking Winchester to find out that the archangel Gabriel was in love with him. That would complicate things even more than they already were and that was saying something. 

He had watched the kid grow up; taken care of him, changed his diapers, wiped his tears. He wasn’t sure at what point his feelings had turned romantic, but he realized it about the time Sam was shopping for a ring for his girlfriend and he felt the unfamiliar stab of jealousy. He hadn’t intentionally let the girl die, and he wouldn’t have if he had been aware it was happening, but he couldn’t say he was particularly sorry except for what it had done to Sam. It was like you couldn’t look away for a second with those two. He had watched them on their hunt, made sure they were safe, but once they were headed back to Sam’s school, Gabriel had headed off to handle his own business and sure enough, all hell broke loose. He had thought that now that they were grown he wouldn’t have to watch them so carefully, but no. Those two could find a way to kill themselves in a padded room. Idiots. 

Gabriel ran a frustrated hand through his hair. So now they knew. It didn’t change anything. Their fate was still the same. Maybe it always had been and Gabriel had been foolish to try and change it. Either way, they were goners. The sooner he came to grips with that the better. They sooner ‘they’ came to grips with that the better. He sighed and snapped his clothes away as he settled into his hot tub. He snapped up a couple beautiful women to feed him while he sipped his wine and let the hot jets relax his body and mind. 

 

Dean was well on his way to completely smashed when Cas appeared next to him at the bar. “You are drunk,” he said obviously. 

“No shit,” Dean said harshly. Cas tilted his head in confusion, wondering what in particular had set the hunter off. Dean saw that and sighed. “Do you know what it’s like to find out your entire life is a lie?”

“I do not understand,” Cas said confused. He felt that he had missed something. 

“Gabriel,” Dean nearly spat the name, “was waiting for us when we got back to the motel. Apparently he’s been watching us our whole lives and even protecting us. He said he tried to stop us from starting all this but we wouldn’t listen. Why the hell would we listen? We thought he was a monster, not a damn archangel. How is that our fault?!” he ranted. 

“So his species changes the meaning of his words?” Cas asked curiously. There was a lot he didn’t understand about humans, particularly these humans. 

Dean gaped at him for a moment. “You know what Cas? If you’re not gonna help then just go,” he snapped. 

“Very well,” Cas said still not understanding what had just happened, but doing as he was told anyway and leaving since he had no idea what he could do to help.


	3. Chapter 3

Gabriel forced himself not to keep checking on the hunters. It wasn’t his problem anymore. It wasn’t his job. He lost himself in decadence and frivolity and did everything he could to keep his mind off of it; off of them. It worked, for the most part, up until he received a prayer a few weeks later. “Gabriel, please. Help us. Help her. We need you. Please,” he heard in his head in Sam’s desperate voice. 

He tuned into their location and sensed his brother nearby, so he didn’t dare go to them. Lucifer would sense him if he got within a dozen miles. So he snapped his fingers and brought them and the others with them to him. As soon as he saw the broken and bleeding girl on the floor and caught sight of her bright innocent soul, his angelic nature kicked in and he was kneeling beside her with his hands over her stomach healing her before he even realized that he was moving. 

Once she was taking gasping breaths and sitting up he turned to the Winchesters. “Do you two have any idea how close Lucifer was? It was a damn good thing I checked first and didn’t go to you or he would have been on us in a second,” he snapped. 

“Yeah we know how close he was. And we need you to send us back now,” Dean said annoyed that they had been pulled out.

“And thank you for healing Jo,” Sam added hastily with a glare at his brother. 

Gabriel seemed not to hear him though. “Send you back? Really? Decide to say yes already did you Sammy?” he asked with a sneer. “As glad as I am that you’re finally listening, you really shouldn’t be taking your brother…or anyone else…with you for that.”

“No, I’m not saying yes. We’re going to kill him,” Sam said firmly. 

Gabriel let out a biting laugh. “You can’t possibly be that delusional. You can’t kill him.”

“Sure we can,” Dean said smugly pulling the colt out of his belt. 

Gabriel snorted derisively. “Yeah, like that’ll work on an archangel.”

“What do you mean?” Sam asked alarmed.

“There are five beings in existence that little pea-shooter won’t kill. The four archangels and our father.”

“Bullshit,” Dean said. He wasn’t willing to accept the fact that their best plan was useless.

“Go ahead and shoot me with it then if you don’t believe me,” Gabriel challenged and ignored the feeling of betrayal when the hunter didn’t hesitate to do so. 

“Dean!” Sam yelled, echoed by Ellen and Jo, who had by now recovered their senses after the trauma. 

“Son of a bitch,” Dean yelled as he threw the gun down after it failed to cause any reaction in Gabriel. 

“Don’t sweat it kiddies. I wouldn’t have offered if it could hurt me,” Gabriel said with a wink to the other three. 

Now that she had found her voice again, Jo said weakly, “Thank you. For healing me.”

“Don’t mention it, hot stuff,” Gabriel said with a grin that faltered when he was completely taken off guard when the other woman pulled him into a hug. 

“Thank you. So much. I can’t tell you how much that means to me,” she said through watery eyes. 

Gabriel looked at the blonde girl. “Mom?” he mouthed in question and she nodded with an amused smile. Gabriel rolled his eyes and tentatively returned the hug. It had been a long time since anyone had hugged him and he wasn’t sure what to do with it. He patted her on the back uncomfortably and then she stepped back and looked at him a little embarrassed. 

“Yeah, Gabriel. Thanks,” Dean said grudgingly. “Now why don’t you help a little more and help us kill Lucifer.”

“You’re joking right?” Gabriel asked incredulously. 

“No. I’m not. He’s an archangel. You’re an archangel. Michael’s gonna do it, so why not you,” Dean said with narrowed eyes. 

“You’re a human. Arnold Schwarzenegger is a human. You wanna challenge him to a fight to the death?” Gabriel asked pointedly. 

“So you’re saying your brother can kick your ass?” Dean asked smugly hoping to appeal to his pride. 

“Damn right he can. I mean sure, we’re evenly matched in skill, but I had to weaken myself when I left heaven so I’m no match for him now,” Gabriel said unashamed. 

“Weaken yourself how?” Sam asked curiously hoping that maybe they could find a way around it and Gabriel would be willing to help if they could. 

“When an angel takes a vessel they are empowered by the soul of that vessel, but human vessels can be tracked and my brothers knew the bloodline that served as my vessels, so I made my own vessel. No soul, less power, but easier to hide,” Gabriel explained. 

“So if you were to take a human vessel…one you know could house an archangel…you could fight him?” Sam asked. 

“Sam no! Don’t even think about it!” Dean said alarmed. 

“I’m not saying I’m gonna do it Dean. I just want to know options,” Sam placated his brother. 

“Even if I were willing to do so, there is more to it than that,” Gabriel said. At their questioning looks he sighed and continued, “When an angel takes a vessel, the angel takes control of the body, but the vessel can access the angel’s mind. You could see and feel everything I’ve ever done. Live all my memories as if you were me. That’s the reason that vessels are often left drooling husks when they are discarded. The human mind isn’t capable of dealing with that sort of information.”

“Jimmy wasn’t when Cas left him,” Dean said accusingly. 

“Because Cas was protecting Jimmy from the influx of information,” Gabriel said. 

“But couldn’t you do the same?” Sam asked confused. 

“With a normal person maybe, but if I were to take either of you as a vessel, our shared history would be impossible to block and from there, there is a good chance that the rest could come pouring through and I wouldn’t be able to prevent it. And the fact is that there are no other suitable vessels for archangels currently on Earth. My bloodline has died off and has not been reinitiated since I am thought dead and Raphael’s is on its last leg. All that is left for him are substandard vessels and it will be a few more generations before his new bloodline is ready.”

“But you can use another archangel’s bloodline though?” Sam asked trying to wrap his head around things. 

“Technically yes. It’s a major insult to do so, and they wouldn’t hold forever like a true vessel would, but you could easily get a few hundred years out of a brother’s vessel without damaging it.”

“So theoretically speaking, you could possess me, take out Lucifer, and the only risk would be my mind snapping?” Sam clarified.

“That’s not an acceptable risk Sam!” Dean said agitated. 

“I hate to agree with your brother, but he’s right. Even if it would go as smoothly as you imply, I won’t risk your mind,” Gabriel said firmly. 

Dean didn’t look any happier about the fact that he and Gabriel agreed, but he added, “If anyone is going to do it, it’s me.”

Gabriel threw his hands up in defeat. “What is it with you two martyring yourselves? I’m not risking your mind either Deano, and even if I would, I wouldn’t dare touch Michael’s vessel. Revealing myself to Lucifer before I fight him would be one thing. Taking you as a vessel to do so would alert Michael too and bring them both down on me. I swear! Just when I think you morons can’t be any dumber, you have to prove me wrong.”

“Look…Gabriel…” Sam started to say. 

“Sam,” Dean said warningly, cutting his brother off. 

Sam just ignored him though and ploughed on. “I’m not saying it’s a good idea, but maybe as a last resort. I mean if I’m dead anyway if Lucifer takes control, what does it matter? It’s either me AND the world or me OR the world right?”

Gabriel narrowed his eyes at Sam. “And what about me huh? Say I do this and lose I die too.” He scrambled for a reason to avoid doing this. The last thing he wanted was to take Sam as a vessel and risk the hunter finding out how he felt about him. Somehow Sam knowing would make losing him so much worse no matter that he wouldn’t return the feelings. 

“Just think about it?” Sam pleaded. Dean clenched his jaw. He didn’t want to admit it, but Sam did have a point. Since the colt wouldn’t work, Gabriel was their only chance or both of them and the whole world dies. 

“Don’t hold your breath, kid,” Gabriel said frustrated and snapped his fingers sending them all back to Bobby’s. 

“Damnit! I wish he would warn us before he does that!” Dean exclaimed as he wobbled on his feet.


	4. Chapter 4

Gabriel suddenly became focused on finding another way. He knew that if he didn’t, that Sam would insist on that foolhardy plan and Gabriel just couldn’t. The fact that Sam was going to die was bad enough, but for Gabriel to be the instrument of his death…or worse, win and have Sam become a drooling vegetable thanks to him…would be unbearable. He knew that he wouldn’t be able to resist Sam for long though. The hunter was like a dog with a bone and Gabriel had always had a weak spot for little Sammy, even long before he had fallen in love. 

Now that he was committed to finding another way to stop all this, he found himself once again invested in the well-being of the boys. Not that he ever stopped being invested. He just pretended like he had, but that was over now. Keeping them out of trouble really cut down on his searching time, but what was the point in finding another way if they died in the process. 

This was the thinking that led him to this nut house, watching a wraith bear down on his Sammy. He did everything he could to stall her and keep her talking without revealing himself. That wasn’t his style. Despite the fact that the hunters knew he had been helping them now, he still wanted to let them save themselves. They needed to stay strong and fast, not get lazy and complacent because they had an archangel watching their backs. He could just give them the time and the tools to do so properly. I mean, really. How many insane asylums keep silver knives just laying around?

It was close. Too close. She almost had both of them, and Gabriel had to fight himself to keep from jumping in. He would have, of course, if he’d had no other choice, but Dean breaking off her appendage was genius. The extra burst of strength he gave the hunter to keep her far enough away to extend it had paid off. 

He’d barely gotten a week off before they were back on another case. He still checked in on them once or twice a day of course, just to make sure they didn’t manage to get themselves in trouble, but he didn’t watch as closely as he did when they were actively looking for trouble. When he checked in at first, he wasn’t really worried. Just some random poltergeist. They could easily handle that, especially with a little help, so he just popped in and out at first. He was on the trail of something big and didn’t want it to go cold. 

The next thing he knew though, someone else was in Sam’s body and Gabriel was suddenly terribly busy keeping track of the boys. He was flitting back and forth between Sam’s new body, his old body, and Dean when they were split up. How could the idiot not realize that wasn’t his brother? He knew of the hit the demons put out on Dean, and judging by the extremely dark nature of the magic used in the body swap, there was a good chance this kid was consorting with demons, making him aware of the hit as well, meaning that this could very well be an attempt on Dean’s life. On top of that, Sam didn’t need to be in his body to say yes to Lucifer, making this a very bad thing for other reasons, so keeping an eye on those two was very important. He doubted the kid was working alone though so keeping an eye on the body Sam was currently in was just as important. If it died, then Sam’s soul would be released to heaven and his body would belong to its current occupant. All in all, it was a really crappy situation that taxed even an archangel’s limits. 

He didn’t really give a crap about the kid the demon killed. He was an arrogant, evil little snot who would have turned out just as bad as all the others he had to kill, so who cared. The girl the demon possessed though…she was innocent. He would do what he could to help her survive this mess. The kid that stole Sam’s body was reasonably innocent too, but he would be the last priority in this whole clusterfuck. The first being Sam and Dean of course. 

When the demon started talking to the kid in Sam’s body about saying yes to Lucifer, Gabriel suppressed his growl, but was happy to see the kid hesitate. He obviously hadn’t thought things all the way through. During the fight to exorcise the demon, he may have frozen it a few times, tripped it up to keep it away from the boys. Whether Sam was in the body or not, he would still have the same injuries when he got back. He wasn’t able to prevent everything. Not without being too obvious, but as long as he kept them alive, he could heal the rest. 

Once Sam was back in his own body, he waited until they were asleep and popped into their room. Dean had a concussion that Gabriel healed completely and eased the bruising on the hunter’s ribs. It would still take a couple days before he was back to normal, but better than a few weeks that it would be otherwise. Sam was a different story. He not only had a concussion, but two broken ribs, a sprained knee, and a torn ligament in his shoulder. Gabriel healed the concussion, knitted the ribs back together to give him the same recovery time as his brother and did the same to the knee and the shoulder. 

What Gabriel didn’t realize though, was that Sam was only pretending to be asleep. He had figured that, as badly as they were banged up, Gabriel would be coming by to heal them and wanted to catch the archangel in the act. Thus, when Gabriel pulled his hand back from the hunter’s forehead, he found his wrist grabbed in a tight hold. He frowned annoyed and said, “You’re supposed to be asleep.”

“Thank you Gabriel,” Sam said softly. 

Gabriel huffed. “Go to sleep, Sam.”

“You don’t have to sneak around anymore you know,” Sam ignored the archangel’s order.

“I like to sneak around,” Gabriel said with a smirk that Sam couldn’t see in the darkness of the room, but could hear in the archangel’s voice. 

“Well I like knowing when I owe you thanks.”

“You don’t owe me anything, Sam.”

“I beg to differ,” Sam said with a soft smile. 

“Whatever. Just go to sleep,” Gabriel said as he disappeared. This time, Sam sighed and just did as he was told. 

Gabriel didn’t go far though and he scowled at the hunter as he drifted off to sleep. Stupid hunters and their stupid feelings and their stupid thanks that just pulled him in deeper than he ever wanted to be. Not for the first time, he found himself wishing that he had never gotten involved in this travesty. Never gone to check on the newborn vessels and insinuated himself into their lives. All this would be so much easier. It had started out to save his family, but become about saving theirs. 

 

Gabriel found himself near panic when he suddenly couldn’t find either of them. A hundred thoughts went through his mind and none of them good. He would know if they died so wherever they were they were still alive, but beyond his sight. The most logical explanation would be if one of his big brothers had gotten ahold of them and were shielding them from being found. There were other wards that could keep him from finding them too though as he had learned the hard way when Azazel kidnapped Sam a few years ago. Either way, none of the options he could think of were good and when they popped back up on his radar he immediately went to them, invisible of course. There was no need for them to know he had been worried. 

He heard them talking about going back in time and Dean having a conversation with Michael. He heard them worry over Cas, who had apparently been left behind and he made a quick trip to retrieve his wayward brother, dropping him in the Winchester’s motel room, knowing that they would take good care of him, and just maybe, a reminder of how bad off he was would have them giving the poor seraph a break. He snorted in amusement as they named themselves Team Free Will. Would they never understand that free will was a double-edged sword? As likely to kill you as save you? Apparently not.


	5. Chapter 5

Gabriel had dropped the hints to Cas to let him know they were dealing with Famine to get the boys on the right track. Gabriel just wished it hadn’t taken him so long to figure it out too. Once they got Sam locked down Gabriel followed Dean and Cas since they were the ones going into danger. He would come to regret that idea about the time that Sam staggered in, high on demon blood, but he got the job done. He waited until they got Sam back to Sioux Falls and locked down in the panic room before he went to the hunter. 

Gabriel cut his arm open and held it to Sam’s mouth. “Drink Sammy,” he whispered, but Sam struggled away from him, apparently thinking he was a demon trying to trick him. He had to hand it to the kid, he had some serious will-power to be able to resist while deep in the throes of withdrawal. It didn’t make this any easier though. He would have to do it the hard way. He held Sam down, wincing when he felt the snap of the hunter’s shoulder. He would heal that when he was done though. The important thing now was to get his system cleaned up before the demon blood did any permanent damage. 

Once the first pull of blood found its way down the hunter’s throat, Sam latched on and drank like he was starving. Gabriel used the opportunity while he wasn’t struggling to heal his broken shoulder, and when he felt the last of the demon blood burn itself away in the wake of the angelic blood he snapped his fingers, healed his arm, and disappeared before Sam could come back to himself enough to notice him. He wasn’t quick enough though, because the hunter caught a glimpse of him just before he disappeared and after a quick look at the clock, realizing that there was no way the withdrawal should have been over already, reasoned that the archangel had helped him and couldn’t help the surge of gratitude. 

The next time the hunters got themselves in trouble, Gabriel was once again run ragged keeping up with them as they had split up. He really wished he could duplicate himself with powers. That would make things so much easier, but his duplicates were completely powerless so useless in this situation. In the end, Dean was the one in trouble, so apart from popping in to check on Sam every so often, he stuck with Dean and Bobby, making sure their shots aimed true and giving them an extra burst of speed, or tripping the zombies, or moving things out of their path that might trip them up. He was just about to step in when Sam and the sheriff lady came running to the rescue and he sighed in relief. All he had to do after that was make sure none of the bullets took a wrong course and hit either of the hunters hiding in the closet. He had a brief thought that one day he’d have to pick on Dean about hiding in a closet with the old man. 

 

They were supposed to be safe. They were between jobs. There were no monsters or demons in the area. They were sleeping peacefully in their motel room, so when Gabriel felt Sam’s death, followed quickly by Dean’s he was completely caught off guard. He flew to their sides just in time to see the guilty parties flee. He quickly dropped a hand on each of their foreheads, bringing them back and went in pursuit of the idiots who dared to kill his boys. They weren’t difficult to find and the suddenly found themselves, speeding car and all, in a very amusing little alternate reality he cooked up. Amusing for him of course, not them. 

After checking on the hunters one more time as they were breaking the news to Cas about God not caring, he made his way back to his hot tub. He had been going all out for a month now. He deserved a night off. He wasn’t at all surprised about his father not caring, but he knew that Cas would be. The seraphs never really knew their father except for the larger than life tales they were told. Hell, most of the seraphs still didn’t know that he had left millennia ago. 

He tracked down his little brother who had apparently decided to copy Dean’s coping mechanism and get drunk. “Heya Cassie. Much as I approve of sampling the finer things in life, I think the point is to do so accompanied by music and beautiful women…or men…and having fun.”

“Go away Gabriel,” Cas muttered despondently. 

“Oh come on Cassie. Buck up. Nothing’s changed you know,” Gabriel pointed out. 

“Everything has changed. Father has forsaken us.”

“Oh please. That’s old news. Father left about the time Lucifer corrupted the garden,” Gabriel said dismissively. 

“What do you care anyway? You ran away,” he said bitterly. 

Gabriel clenched his jaw. Punching his brother would do no one any good here. “Yeah. I did. You know why? Because Michael was destroying heaven and with Raphael by his side I couldn’t fight him, and I couldn’t just watch it happen. At least you were shielded from all that, so don’t go balking to me about who has it worse,” he said bitingly. 

Cas suddenly tilted his head. “The Winchesters are calling,” he said and disappeared. Gabriel sighed and followed, cloaked. He couldn’t trust the seraph to protect them in his current state. He couldn’t help but laugh at the blunt way Cas had told them they were dealing with the whore and then again at Dean’s glib response. He could see Cas’ point but the urge to punch him returned full force when he called Sam an abomination. He disagreed with the little seraph on more than that point though. Dean could do it. Until Michael gave up on having him as his vessel, Dean was still considered a servant of heaven, unwilling though he may be and so when the time came, he maneuvered Dean into a position where he had to be the one to stab her. He didn’t anticipate the angst this would cause in Sam and Cas though who were now wondering if Dean was planning to say yes to Michael. 

He hadn’t yet decided whether to intervene there when he got word that the littlest Winchester had been resurrected. It seemed that Michael was playing a different game now. He knew his big brother better than Cassie did, and he knew that Michael wasn’t really planning on using the kid as a vessel. Just to manipulate Dean into doing so. Family was more important than his own life to Dean Winchester, and using Sam was out of the question thanks to his status as Lucifer’s vessel and Dean wouldn’t feel as strongly about protecting his father as he would his youngest brother who knew very little about the supernatural world, even if they could find John Winchester’s soul. 

Gabriel could admit that it was a good plan, and probably would have worked if Dean hadn’t known that they had a backup plan in the wings. Michael always was a good tactician though. He was very good at using people’s weaknesses against them, as Gabriel well knew. Gabriel saw through Dean’s plan from the start, and he wondered how the other people who claimed to know him so well couldn’t see it. Gabriel managed to fly away before Cas blew himself up, but then he was back. It was only seraphs there and he could hide himself from them completely so he wasn’t too worried. He would be faced with a difficult decision if Michael decided to show himself though. Or rather he would have to do something difficult and leave them to their own devices. He couldn’t risk being found out at this point in the game. Even if he did manage to get to Dean, he wouldn’t keep him if they could take out Lucifer and make him obsolete, and he wouldn’t hurt his vessel since he wouldn’t want to risk ending his bloodline and Gabriel would be needed to take on Lucifer. 

Gabriel smirked when Dean killed that snively little snot Zachariah, but when he felt Michael coming he sent a quick jolt of healing towards all three of the Winchesters and disappeared, hoping they could get out in time. His rush healing wasn’t great, but it would keep them alive and allow them to move fast enough to hopefully escape. Once he sensed that Michael wasn’t near them anymore he popped in to hear them talking about how they had lost their little brother. Seemed that Michael had gotten desperate enough to take the littlest Winchester after all. No matter. His reasoning for Dean still stood. Michael wouldn’t keep him once he was no longer needed. 

When he popped into their room after they were asleep to finish his crappy healing job, he was once again faced with an awake Sam. “Can you help Adam?” he asked hopefully. 

“Yes, but not the way you want,” he said honestly. 

“What do you mean?” Sam asked suspiciously. 

“We help him by taking out Lucifer. Once he’s no longer needed then Michael won’t hurt him and just let him go.”

“You’ll help us take out Lucifer then?” Sam asked astonished. Last he heard Gabriel wanted nothing to do with it after all. 

“What do you think I’ve been doing all this time Samsquatch. Looking for another way. I think I’m close to something too, so don’t give up just yet,” Gabriel attempted to soothe him. 

“Dean almost gave up today,” he said sadly. 

“Oh come on kiddo. You should know your brother better than that. Even I could see right through his ruse,” Gabriel rolled his eyes. 

“You were watching?” 

“And helping where I could. Of course. I thought you knew that already,” Gabriel told him.

“I thought you gave up on us after tv land,” Sam admitted. 

Gabriel rolled his eyes again. “You’re not really on a role with the thinking thing are you,” he said sarcastically as he disappeared.


	6. Chapter 6

Gabriel had gotten Kali’s summons and had every intention of ignoring it. He had nothing to say to any of them, and had no interest in whatever they had going on. He had more important things to do. He kept that stance right up until I found the Winchesters in their clutches and forced himself calm before he popped open the doors with a snarky, “Can’t we all just get along?” 

He just managed to cut off Sam’s voice before he outed the archangel then turned his attention back to the others as he realized that no one knew that Kali had summoned him. He would be nice and not call her on it just yet. He would hold that for later if it was needed. It wasn’t long before he realized that he had to get the guys out of there. He was playing a delicate game and he couldn’t concentrate with them in the same room as so many beings that wanted to kill them so he sent them off to their room. 

It wasn’t long after that when the gods decided to recess for the moment. In other words, they didn’t want to deal with him and wanted some time to figure out how to do so. He took the opportunity to pop in on Sam and Dean only to find the older hunter accusing him of being behind this. He couldn’t help but roll his eyes. After all the trouble he went to in order to keep them out of trouble, like he would really throw them into it like that. Sam apparently thought the same but for a different reason. He thought that the gods could help them take out Lucifer. 

Gabriel vehemently denied that, and did his best to get the entire idea out of the hunter’s head. It wasn’t that he was worried about his ‘friends’ like he told them, but he was worried about them finding out what he was. They would turn on him before he could blink, and while they couldn’t really hurt him unless he let them, they could make a whole lot of trouble for him, and not only by letting the facts of his continued existence be known. He wasn’t exactly fond of them, but he found the idea of killing them to protect his secrets distasteful, so he would try to avoid having to make that choice if at all possible. 

He should have known that the morons would insist and bailing out all the other people who were meant to be dinner. He tried to convince them that it would be foolish. Just getting the two of them out of here would be tricky without trying to worry about a dozen other people, but they wouldn’t listen so he reluctantly agreed. He was glad that he was such a good actor, because the thought of trying to seduce Kali was stomach-turning. They hadn’t exactly parted on the best of terms in the first place and now she was threatening the man he loved, so pretending to care about her was going to tax even his impressive skills. 

He should have realized that she was playing her own game. She hated him as much as he hated her, so her summons alone should have raised a red flag, let alone her responding to his flirtations. He had no idea how she figured out his secret, but there was no doubt that she was about to out him to everyone. She had even gone so far as to bind him so that he couldn’t even kill her to silence her. That didn’t mean he had to let her kill him though. It would require precise timing but he had a plan. 

He waited until she had taken ‘his’ blade and was monologuing before he replaced himself with a clone. She would have noticed if he had done so before. He watched as she ran him through and made sure to add the special effects so that everyone would think he was dead. He was completely unprepared for the look of horror on Sam’s face and to a lesser extent on Dean’s, but he couldn’t worry about that right now. He knew what Dean would do, and needed to get him alone to lay out the rest of the plan, and sure enough it wasn’t long before Dean was leading out the rest of the captives and he called the hunter over to his car. Dean was resistant to the rest of the plan though. He didn’t want to escape. He wanted to make a final stand and make Gabriel stand with them. 

“Look. Dean. I found another way out of this. We just need more time,” he tried to reason with him. 

“Well we’re out of time, Gabriel. You really think they are going to let us go? You really think I can get close enough to Kali to get our blood? Whatever plan you have, it’s time to sack up and make it happen,” Dean said harshly before getting out of the car and leaving Gabriel in thought. 

It wasn’t long after Dean had left that Gabriel saw Lucifer heading in behind him and Gabriel immediately started changing his plans to account for the new player. It would involve revealing himself to his brother, but on the plus side, he wasn’t likely to go running to Michael with the information so only one side would know of his involvement. Unfortunately, it was the side that he most needed to stay in the dark. Once Lucifer killed Kali, it would release them from the blood spell, and he could spirit the hunters away. 

Plan decided he popped into the hall next to the brothers. It wouldn’t be long for Kali now and while Lucifer was distracted he might be able to keep himself hidden long enough, but before he knew it he felt Lucifer throw a shield around the area and groaned. The only way out now was to walk right out the door. He should have known it would come to this. He would have to sacrifice himself to get the hunters out. He pulled the dvd he had prepared from his pocket and slapped it to Dean’s chest. “Guard this with your life,” he ordered, but before he could go out to meet Lucifer, Sam grabbed his wrist. 

“Yes, Gabriel,” he said pointedly. 

“Sam…no,” Gabriel said firmly. 

“You’re planning to go out there and sacrifice yourself so we can escape and I’m not going to let that happen. You are still our best chance to stop this. If you die, there is nothing protecting us from Lucifer. I’m dead anyway. At least with you I have a chance, so please,” Sam begged. 

Dean closed his eyes and rested his head against the table trying to calm his emotions. He knew that Sam was right, but that didn’t make it any easier to deal with, not to mention that it involved trusting Gabriel of all people. Dean didn’t like this at all, but couldn’t find a better choice. He knew, based on Gabriel’s reaction alone, that if he could possibly have pulled off his other plan he would have. 

“I don’t like this,” Gabriel said with narrowed eyes. 

“I know,” Sam said softly. 

Gabriel gave a long-suffering sigh. “Protect my body please,” he told Dean before turning to Sam and saying, "Don't fight me kiddo." The hunters shielded their eyes as the light poured out of Gabriel and into Sam. 

Kali was in pretty bad shape by now, but Lucifer was playing with her so she was still alive. Barely. Gabriel considered letting Lucifer finish her off before he intervened, but there was no way his big brother had missed that light show, and having Kali owe him her life could definitely be useful down the road so he quickly flung Lucifer back out the door. “Luci! I’m home!” He reached down to pick Kali up, healing her as he did so while also wiping the little fact of him being an archangel from her mind and said, “Get out of here.” She quickly ran out the door without looking back. 

Gabriel would have liked to get Dean and his body out of there too, but with the shield in place, he couldn’t risk them walking out the door. “You dare!” Lucifer snarled at seeing Gabriel in Sam’s body. “He is mine!”

“Yet he chose me freely,” Gabriel taunted as he tried to pull Lucifer out of the room and as far away from Dean as possible. Lucifer wasn’t falling for it though and he attacked. The following fight was furious, but Lucifer was holding himself back, unwilling to kill his brother while he was in Lucifer’s vessel, knowing that there was no way to bring Sam back from such a death so settled for trying to wound him enough to break his spirit and get him to abandon the hunter. Gabriel, however, was fighting to kill. 

Dean didn’t get to watch much of the fight, being too busy hiding from the flying debris to do so, but from the little he did see, he was extremely glad that it hadn’t come to him trying to take on Lucifer with Gabriel’s blade. He wouldn’t have lasted a second. The skill that the two archangels showed was far beyond any human’s capabilities. It went on for what seemed like forever, before he heard a scream and screwed his eyes shut in time for the flashing light to die down. 

He immediately jumped out, knowing that if Lucifer won and Sam was dead, he didn’t care if he followed, and if Gabriel had won then they were all good. He breathed a sigh of relief when he saw his brother’s body kneeling next to the broken body of the fallen archangel who was lying in the ash of his mutilated wings. He stepped forward and put a hand on Gabriel/Sam’s shoulder and the surviving archangel let out a heavy groan. 

“You’re gonna have to drive out of here Deano. I’m running on empty,” he said. 

“Can I have my brother back?” Dean asked hopefully. 

“Not yet. He’s too injured and I don’t have enough juice to heal him,” Gabriel said weakly. 

Dean nodded. He heard what Gabriel didn’t say. That he was the only thing keeping Sam alive at the moment. He could put up with them like that for a little longer. “Can you walk?” he asked worriedly. 

“Probably. Grab my body would you? I’m gonna want it back,” Gabriel said with a feeble lop-sided smile. 

It took them quite a while to make it to the car with Dean carrying a ‘dead’ body and Gabriel/Sam holding onto the walls to keep himself upright, but they made it and Gabriel fell into the angelic equivalent of a coma while he healed up.


	7. Chapter 7

Sam felt Gabriel’s essence filling him up and he could immediately tell why Gabriel had said not to fight him. He had been possessed by demons before and remembered the feeling of the demons taking complete control, but this was different. This was more of a melding. Oh he had little more control than he’d had from the demons, but he felt that he was more of a participant. He could see and feel everything that was going on, and could even communicate with Gabriel. No sooner than that thought crossed his mind he felt the onslaught of images and thoughts and feelings flooding into his mind. It was too much and too fast and he could feel his mind straining. He could feel Gabriel trying frantically to stop it, and added his own will to Gabriel’s efforts and soon enough it stopped. 

There was a lot of extra stuff in there now, but the flow had been stopped thankfully before any real damage was done. He could feel Gabriel’s relief at that fact and resolved not to go poking at that wall that blocked the remainder of the archangel’s mind that hadn’t leaked through. That handled, Gabriel rushed out to face Lucifer and Sam, figuratively, sat down and shut up and did his best to stay out of the way. He felt the power flow through his body as Gabriel healed Kali, and that was definitely a weird feeling. It was similar in a way to the power that the demon blood had given him, but so much purer. It gave a feeling of warmth and comfort as opposed to the burning and pain. 

As the fight began between Gabriel and Lucifer, Sam was mesmerized. He didn’t even realize his body was capable of moving that way. He could feel Gabriel shielding him from the pain of the injuries, and couldn’t help the wash of gratitude for that. Gabriel could hide the pain from Sam, but not the weakness. He could feel the archangel faltering and tried to push his own strength at him. He had no idea if it would work. If it could work. For all he knew it would reopen the wall even, but better that than them dying if Gabriel wasn’t strong enough. 

It seemed like forever before Gabriel’s blade ran through Lucifer’s chest and Lucifer fell into the ash of his own wings. He felt Gabriel’s regret at killing his brother and his relief that it was over as he fell to his knees. He heard what Gabriel had said to Dean about how injured his body was and how weak Gabriel was and did his best to help them get to the car without getting in the way. He still had no idea if it helped or not, but at least he felt like he was doing something. Once they were safe and Gabriel was resting, Sam felt free to go through the memories and thoughts he had accumulated in the merge. 

He could tell what Gabriel had meant when he said that the memories involving him would be more prominent as the first one he found himself in was apparently the day he was born. His mother was in a hospital bed holding him and singing to him and he, as Gabriel was standing invisibly in the corner watching him and he felt the archangel’s curiosity. Gabriel had apparently spent a lot of time watching him, and Dean as well. Gabriel often went into Dean’s room to soothe his nightmares. A few times he could tell, through Gabriel, that Dean had a cold or other sickness coming on so Gabriel would heal it before it started, but most of his time was spent watching Sam. 

He could tell that the archangel marveled at the helplessness of the tiny baby, and could feel the spark of protectiveness grow in him. He felt the tears running down his face as Azazel came into the nursery and killed his mother and the shield he put over the crib to protect from the flames until his father came to get him out. It was about a week later before Gabriel had touched him more than to brush a hand across his forehead or run a hand through his baby soft hair. They were in some skeevy motel and his father was passed out drunk. He was crying and Dean was too little to get into the crib the motel provided to help him. 

Gabriel had pressed a hand to Dean’s head and put him to sleep and in his bed before frowning and pressing a hand to John’s head as well, just to make sure he stayed asleep before he walked over to the crib, and after looking around one more time, made himself visible and reached down to pick up the screaming baby. “What’s all the racket about huh little guy?” he asked softly. Gabriel snapped his fingers and changed the baby’s diaper while simultaneously materializing a bottle and walked circles around the room singing softly to the little one as he ate. 

Sam marveled at the deep, rich, beautiful voice the archangel had as he sang long forgotten lullabies until baby Sam had finished his bottle and fallen back asleep. Gabriel placed him back in his crib with a kiss to the forehead and glared at John before snapping his fingers. The drunk man woke the next morning with a nasty rash that drove him crazy for days. 

Their father had often left four-year-old Dean in charge of his infant brother if he was only going to be gone for a day or less, but Sam quickly realized they were never alone. Gabriel had always been watching over them. When Dean clumsily tried to give his baby brother a bath, Gabriel’s hand was always extra support keeping him from slipping under the water, when Dean couldn’t get the temperature of the bottle right, Gabriel always adjusted it to keep it from being too hot or too cold. Gabriel would give Dean an extra burst of strength when the bottles of strained food were closed too tightly for him to get open, and at least once or twice a week, John would be passed out and Gabriel would feed, change, and sing Sam back to sleep. 

Sam had no idea how he felt about all this. Seeing what a crappy father John had been even that early on, how hard Dean had tried to take care of him when he shouldn’t have had to, and seeing how much Gabriel was just there, never asking for anything in return, never even letting his presence be known, it was all a bit overwhelming. 

Once Sam was toddling around he was placed in a real bed, sharing with his brother, so Gabriel didn’t need to take care of him during the night anymore, and it wasn’t long after that when their father left for a couple weeks and left them with a babysitter. Through Gabriel’s eyes he could see the true face of the demon, and he could feel the tension coiling within Gabriel as he watched like a hawk the entire time they were there. He saw how the demon paid far more attention to Sam than Dean, almost pandering to him like a little prince, and he now knew that they considered him that way. He felt Gabriel’s revulsion and the effort to hold himself back from frying the demon and disappearing with the kids every time the demon touched them or spoke to them. When Dean would be neglected in favor of Sam, Gabriel did what he could to surreptitiously correct the imbalance, making Dean’s meager allotment of food last longer or having the boy find another toy in the bottom of his bag when all of his were given to Sam. 

When they were left with a demon the next time the hunter left, Sam felt Gabriel start to reach out to smite the man, but pull himself back just in time and that visit went much like the previous one, with Gabriel coiled tensely ready to strike at the first sign of danger and not taking his eyes off of them, even while they were sleeping. He saw Gabriel put himself in prime babysitting position the next time John had to leave and felt the archangel’s relief when the hunter accepted. Sam quickly realized that Gabriel didn’t miss anything. He saw every prank, every argument, every tantrum, he just let the kids be kids unless it got out of hand. Sam had always thought that they had been able to get one over on their babysitters, but Gabriel was far too smart for that. 

As they got older, Gabriel would even throw a little of his own magic into their prank wars, usually in an effort to even things out. Dean was much better at it than Sam after all. Once John started training Dean when he was eight, and leaving four-year-old Sam alone much of the day, Gabriel would stay and keep an eye on Sam and heal Dean of all his bumps and bruises at night while they were sleeping. The first time Dean had come back with a worse injury, John once again woke with a nasty rash. Gabriel was keeping a lot more nightmares at bay for the elder brother too, now that his father was stealing what was left of his innocence by teaching him all about monsters and what they could do. 

By the time Dean was ten and Sam was six, John had stopped leaving them with babysitters unless he was going to be gone for weeks. Anything less than a week and they were left on their own. Gabriel seethed at that, and kept a closer eye on the boys during those times. Refilling food, slipping a little extra money into the jar that John had left, doing some cleaning, and more than once frying the monsters that thought two hunter’s kids all alone made a good snack. 

He had been out watching over Dean, since the little idiot was out wandering around in the middle of the night when the shtriga nearly got Sammy. It wasn’t John and Dean that scared it away. He showed enough of himself that the shtriga could sense him and that’s why it ran. He was so worried about making sure that Sam was okay that by the time he was going after it, it was long gone. That was when he first realized the Winchester propensity to find trouble in the safest of places and knew he was going to have his work cut out for him. 

Sam felt both Gabriel’s pride when he rebelled against being a hunter, and his sadness because he knew that the demons would never stop coming for him, hunter or not and when he left for Stanford, he felt Gabriel’s determination to give him as long as he could with a normal life before everything else intruded again.


	8. Chapter 8

Gabriel kept watch over Sam at Stanford, just not as closely as he had before, which made sense, given that he was an adult now, and not in a life-threatening line of work like Dean was, who got far more of Gabriel’s attention during those years. Gabriel saved Dean’s life more than once, by putting the gun or blade within reach at a crucial moment, sometimes taking out a few monsters when there were too many for the hunter to make it out alive, but always from the back and always where no one could see before he snapped and disposed of the bodies. John eventually caught wind of the rashes that he would get every time Dean was thrown into a life-threatening situation and finally let Dean hunt on his own, hoping they would stop. They did, but only because Gabriel was too busy to hunt him down separately. 

Sam noticed that Gabriel started making himself scarce at Stanford once he and Jessica started dating and wondered at that. If he didn’t know any better, he would think that the strange feeling he was getting from Gabriel was jealousy, but after that Gabriel would only pop in once or twice a day, always when Sam was alone and never stay longer than it took to make sure he was healthy and danger free which was less than a minute. He finally realized that it was jealousy the archangel was feeling when he started looking around for rings, and once he realized that he also realized that somewhere along the way Gabriel had fallen in love in with him. 

That thought alone almost made him leave the rest of the memories alone, but he had to see. He had to know. He would be lying if he said that all this insight into the archangel hadn’t changed something for him too. He felt Gabriel’s sadness when Dean pulled him back into the life and his regret at not being there to save Jessica. Gabriel had left once Sam was on his way back to Stanford, not wanting to see him all domestic with his girlfriend, soon to be fiancée. It would have been easy for Sam to try and blame Gabriel, but he couldn’t. It hadn’t been malicious. Gabriel had honestly thought that Sam was safe and he couldn’t be expected to watch him twenty-four/seven. 

He felt Gabriel soothe the worst of his nightmares, but he couldn’t let him sleep dreamlessly all the time. The human mind wasn’t equipped for that, so some nightmares still got through. Too many still got through, but Gabriel did the best he could without hurting Sam in the process. Most nights he would sit on the bed next to the hunter all night long with a hand in his hair, keeping as much at bay as he could. He felt Gabriel consider wiping his memories of the nightmares that did get through but decide that it might not be healthy. All that pain had to be dealt with somehow. It couldn’t just be suppressed. 

Sam was there with Gabriel as he followed the brothers around, throwing some help their way when necessary. Sam understood now how they were considered the best hunters in the world, and why monsters and demons were so afraid of them. It wasn’t them. It was the archangel they had tagging along helping them out. Sam had lost count of how many times they would have died if Gabriel hadn’t been there. 

Then came their first official meeting. He felt Gabriel’s heart stutter a bit as Sam caught his eyes. The first time seeing him in his real form. He felt the joy as Sam flirted back with him while he was telling them about the professor that died and Sam couldn’t help but feel bad about that. He was using an old interrogation technique of matching the person’s tone. He wasn’t really flirting, but that little thing had made Gabriel so happy and it was all a lie. The worst part though, was the searing emotional pain that he couldn’t even put words to when Sam walked through the door of the auditorium holding a stake ready to kill him, and again when Sam tossed Dean the stake to do so. The hurt from Dean treating him like that was bad enough, but with Sam it was nearly debilitating. 

Still, he continued following them around though. He felt Gabriel’s panic when he lost track of Sam a few months later. The demon had warded the town against being found. Gabriel was pacing and muttering out loud for one of ‘the idiots’ to just pray so he could find them and when he got word that Dean had sold his soul, the archangel trashed his apartment. It only took a finger snap to put it to rights again, but the satisfaction of doing it was so great that he even did it again. 

He was back on their trail soon after though with a new determination. He wasn’t about to let the devious demons shave any time off of what Dean had remaining. He was more worried about Sam than anything though. He saw how he was clinging to Dean and knew that Sam would go off the rails when Dean died and there would be no stopping this then, so he set out to intervene. He would get Sam used to Dean’s death, and being without him so that when the time came he could function. Sam could feel how much it tore Gabriel apart every time, and how devastating it was for him to see Sam like that after the final death and the last trace of bitterness Sam held for the archangel over that incident evaporated. 

He felt Gabriel break when Sam did at the end, though of course the archangel didn’t show it nearly as much, and the hasty retreat at the end wasn’t out of frustration, not completely. It was so that the hunter wouldn’t see him fall apart. And fall apart he did. He had felt tears from Gabriel a few times, when Mary died, when Jess died, when Sam was struggling with Jess’ death, but this was the first time he had felt Gabriel actually break down and sob. Everything that he had done and endured through all this. Everything that he had put both himself and Sam through, all of it was for nothing. He had failed. 

Gabriel watched Sam spiral out of control, unable to do anything to stop it. All of the ‘accidents’ that tried to prevent him from seeing Ruby, Sam suddenly realized weren’t accidents at all, but Gabriel’s interference. Sam, as Gabriel, watched himself delve deeper and deeper into the darkness with tears on the archangel’s face as he stood there helpless to interfere. There was only so much he could do against free will after all and when Sam finally cracked and released Lucifer, it was Gabriel, not God who pulled them from that church and dropped them in the nearest airplane. He now knew that Gabriel had stopped time long enough to force some of his own blood down Sam’s throat to clean him up in the process. Looking back, he couldn’t believe he had missed Gabriel’s involvement. He had put Yosemite Sam and the Devil on the plane’s entertainment system after all. It was so like Gabriel. Of course Sam knew him a lot better now that he had before so that could be why it was so obvious to him now. 

He felt Gabriel’s increasing desperation and despair as things kept drawing out. He wanted to get it over with so he could get over Sam and get on with his life. He couldn’t keep himself from following them around and helping them though. By the time he had caught up with the present memories Sam was in shock. The pure and complete love he had felt towards him from the archangel was like nothing he had ever felt before. He suspected that he had come to love Gabriel just as much during all that, but he had to be sure before he said anything. And to be sure, he had to be separated from Gabriel’s emotions. 

Sam had never been so happy that time works differently in the mind than it does in the real world because he felt like he’d been lost in memories for decades instead of the two days that it was. He was jolted back to awareness as the archangel woke to a fretting Dean and Sam suddenly felt his whole body again as Gabriel healed all his injuries, before vacating back to his own body. 

Sam sat up with a gasp. The control rushing back to him was a shock to his system for a moment. He turned to look at the archangel and met him with a bright smile, “Gabriel…” he started, but Gabriel just disappeared. Sam wondered if Gabriel was aware of what all Sam had seen, and if he was embarrassed about it or running from what Sam knew he thought would be rejection of his feelings or both. Sam decided that he would be sure of his own feelings before seeking the archangel out.


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the wait. RL got crazy, but here's the last chapter. And I'm officially out of ideas again, so not sure when the next story will be.

Once Gabriel was gone Dean turned to Sam worriedly. “You okay Sammy?”

“Yeah I’m good,” Sam sighed with relief, the danger he had been in just now hitting him.

“So your brain’s all there? Well as much as it ever was anyway?” Dean just couldn’t resist the dig. 

“Yeah Dean. It is. Got a lot more stuff rolling around up there, but still in one piece,” Sam said rolling his eyes. 

“What kind of stuff?” Dean asked curiously, wondering how much of the knowledge of an archangel his brother had accumulated.

“All I’ve sorted through so far are the memories of us,” Sam said hesitantly, not sure if Dean would want to hear what he had discovered. 

“Well? You gonna enlighten me? Was the pixie telling the truth or not?” Dean asked impatiently. 

Sam snorted. “He was massively understating his involvement,” Sam dropped the bombshell. At his brother’s confused look Sam summed up. “Did you know that after Mom died, when Dad would be passed out drunk and you were too small to get me out of my crib, he would pick me up and feed me, change me, and sing me back to sleep?”

“He what? He actually changed your diapers?” Dean asked incredulously. 

“More like snapped his fingers and changed it, but everything else he did the human way,” Sam said with an amused smile, picturing the archangel actually changing a diaper. 

“What else?” Dean asked curiously. 

“He kept us both from getting sick, kept nightmares from both of us, but mostly you when we were kids. The two times Dad left us with a demon, he didn’t let us out of his sight for a second and when the demons would neglect you, Gabriel would make sure your food didn’t run out until you were full or slip extra toys in the bottom of your bag. He helped us with our prank wars while he was babysitting us, and everything he said about keeping us alive was understated too. At least once on pretty much every hunt we’ve ever been on, one or both of us would have died without his interference.”

“But…he never said anything…why wouldn’t he rub it all in our faces? Use it to try and make us do what he wanted?” Dean asked shocked. 

“Because he never really wanted us to know. He’s not nearly as cold and calculating as we thought. There’s a lot more heart there than you could imagine. He thought we would reject him if we knew and he didn’t want to deal with that. He never planned on getting as attached as he did, and once he did, he was even more determined to keep it to himself so that he never had to face it,” Sam said sadly. 

Dean narrowed his eyes at his brother searchingly for a moment before he thunked his head down on the table. “Oh come on Sammy. Please no. Not him,” Dean pleaded. 

“What do you mean?” Sam tried to play dumb. 

“I’m not as dense as you seem to think I am. You have a thing for the archdouche,” Dean said bitterly. 

“You got a problem with that?” Sam asked, not quite heatedly, but with a bit of a warning in his tone amongst the worry and curiosity. 

“Only because it means I’ll have to deal with him,” Dean said carefully. He really couldn’t blame his brother if everything he said was true, and he couldn’t hold a grudge against the archangel anymore, but that didn’t make him any less annoying. He also knew that Sam wouldn’t risk falling for someone like that or at least being so open about it if the feelings weren’t returned, and having spent so much time in the archangel’s head, Sam would know what he felt so he resigned himself to having an annoying archangelic brother-in-law. “So why did he…” Dean cut himself off as they were suddenly no longer alone in the room. 

“What have you done with my brother?” Michael asked, still in Adam’s body. 

Sam didn’t want Dean opening his mouth and spilling the beans so he jumped in, “I killed him.”

“Impossible,” Michael sneered. 

“Apparently it is possible because he’s dead,” Dean snapped. “Now get out of our brother since you obviously don’t need him anymore.”

“How did you kill him? Only an archangel blade can do so,” Michael asked suspiciously. 

“I went in with a seraph’s blade, disarmed him and used his own blade to do it,” Sam said firmly. “Now you heard my brother.” Sam hoped that his story seemed plausible enough, notwithstanding the fact that no human could match an archangel’s skill, but it was the best he could do without revealing Gabriel’s involvement. He knew the wayward archangel still wanted to stay hidden. 

Michael glared at him distrustfully for a minute before he said, “What you say is impossible, but regardless, he is dead and I have no better explanation. Very well. I will return your brother to his heaven, after his promised visit with his mother of course.”

“Wait! You brought him back to life and now you’re just going to kill him again?” Dean asked heatedly. He had been hoping for the chance to get to know Adam finally. 

“He was resurrected for a purpose. That purpose is no longer valid. He will be returned to his rightful place,” Michael said in a clipped tone and disappeared before anyone else could say anything. 

 

Not two minutes after Michael left they had another visitor. Dean threw up his hands. “What is this? Archangel central?” 

“Michael was here,” Gabriel said worriedly looking over both of them to make sure they were in one piece. 

“Yeah. He wanted to know how we killed Lucifer,” Sam said knowing that he had to calm Gabriel’s fears before he could get to what he really wanted to talk to him about. 

“I’m going out. I don’t need to go over this again,” Dean said getting up and leaving. Mostly he just didn’t want to be there for the conversation that would surely be following that one if Sam had his way and he had a baby brother to mourn…again. 

“What did you tell him?” Gabriel asked getting a little jittery from nerves. 

“That I killed him with his own blade,” Sam said reaching out his hands and putting them on the archangel’s shoulders holding him still. 

“And he believed that?” Gabriel asked dubiously. 

“Not really, but he said that he couldn’t come up with another explanation so he had no choice but to believe it,” Sam said with a shrug. 

Gabriel let out a sigh of relief. “Ok. Good. So since you guys are ok, I’ll just…” 

Sam cut him off. “Stay,” he asked hopefully. 

“Sam…I don’t...mmph,” he started to protest before Sam grabbed him in a kiss. Gabriel lost himself in it for a moment, but when Sam’s tongue licked along his lower lip looking for entrance, he wrenched himself away. “Sam, don’t.”

“Gabriel…” Sam started to say before he was interrupted. 

“I don’t need your pity…or your gratitude…or whatever else this is. I know what you saw. I know what you know, and I don’t want it like this,” he said trying to keep his voice steady. 

Sam didn’t move any closer, but kept his hands on Gabriel’s shoulders as he said, “I would never pity you, Gabriel, and while I am grateful for everything you’ve done for us, that’s not what this is about.”

“Then what? Last I checked you barely tolerated me,” he said bitterly. 

“I didn’t know you,” Sam said pointedly. “Not really. But I do now. And I…I love you Gabriel,” he stumbled over the words in his nervousness, but knew that nothing less would have a chance of convincing the self-deprecating archangel of his honestly. 

Gabriel gave him a look that was half suspicion and half hope and Sam took that cue to lean down and kiss Gabriel again, this time soft and slow, trying to pour everything he felt into that one moment. It seemed to work, because one of Gabriel’s arms wrapped around Sam’s waist pulling him close while the other went to the side of Sam’s face, unconsciously mimicking the hunter’s position in reverse. Gabriel poured just as much of his feelings into the kiss as Sam was and it was the perfect moment…for both of them. 

When they broke for air, Sam rested his forehead against Gabriel’s and whispered again, “I love you, Gabriel.”

“I love you, Sam,” Gabriel whispered back, his voice breaking as he fought back the tears of joy. Sam just grinned and pulled Gabriel in for another kiss and before he knew it they were lying on the bed, Sam on his back and Gabriel straddling his lap on top of him. “Sam…” the archangel whispered huskily. “If you want to stop, you better tell me now.”

“Don’t stop, Gabriel. Please,” Sam said desperately, and so Gabriel didn’t.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> and as you can see I decided to keep this one PG-13, but feel free to substitute one of my other smutty scenes into here if you wish lol.


End file.
